Ameliorate
This is a 3 part series called "Ameliorate", in which I illustrate my personal experience going through a toxic relationship. For this project, I wanted to tell a narrative story while also applying an editorial aspect to them. For this reason, I shot all the series in a studio setting and made my set up as it would be for a fashion shoot. However, I am still applying elements to the composition to help with the story.
The first part of the series focuses on the feeling and emotions of being in that bad relationship. Naturally, I used a darker setting to set the mood. I asked the model to wear red to symbolize passion and love. I also incorporated a thin fabric much like a veil, to use around her. The red veil is seen as the negative aspect of the relationship, where I felt suffocated and controlled. While the white veil signifies the positive parts of the relationship, we can still see that it is being used in a restraining way. An example is the veil covering her eyes or it being around her neck. The necklace she is wearing is important because in many ways when we put on a necklace it will take us a few tries before successfully putting it on. In this series, the necklace shows the tight grip the individual had around multiple aspects of my life. While I woudl struggle to get it off, he could easily put it on or take it off. In other images we see both the red and white veil intertwined, this was a way to show thr frustration and confusion of what I thought was love but actually was abuse.
In the second part of the series, we are now in a different stage of my life where I am no longer in that toxic relationship and now find myself in a healthy one. To show this, I made it more colorful and used a brighter background. I used flowers to show a transition where I am content. In the images, we can see a warm light reflect off her skin, this was to show my emotional state.
The next set of images make a drastic change and are very dark and daunting. These images are a direct reflection of my mental state. Even though I was no longer in a bad relationship, mentally I still hadn't recovered from the previous one. I made the images dark to resemble a theater play and how they switch lights to show the character's inner dialog. These Images show a deep self-reflection of what I went through. At times even just reflecting on past experiences.
In the last part of the series, I created a simple set having my model wear a suit to portray maturity and growth. At this point, it has been a few years since then. For this reason, I wanted my model to look professional and confident. I also incorporated some of the flowers from the last project to connect the two series. Just like in the previous series, the second part of this set shows a more serious and darker setting. During that time, I felt confident in letting go of always having to protect my emotional and mental state. This last part of the series is not so much about getting over a bad relationship but more about the healing process. Healing is a long journey that can take months or even years. For me, the healing process has been an unexpected process that took a lot of self-reflection and vulnerability having to remind myself that I am no longer in danger and that I don't have to be in control or fight back. In the second group, I portray this feeling by having the model with direct light to her side to create a dramatic setting. I also have a warm tone to the images to show sympathy.
I wanted to close this series with a hopeful message for any woman who is still healing from past trauma, to be patient with herself and the process.
